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“Throw Me Away” is one of the songs I wrote for my 2015 collection of demos, Learning Not To Be Perfect. That collection was put together for NASOALMO (National Solo Album Month), in which you write and record a complete album in one month — all by yourself. Here are the lyrics:

 Throw Me Away

 I would do whatever it would take me 
 to pay penance for my sins
 even if the accusations break me
 on my way to breaking in

 Give me just one chance to understand it
 as you watch me spin out of control
 so alone, I must be branded
 help me, bring me back my soul
 
 Chorus:
 This was not what I expected
 when we bought our tickets to the show
 Don’t throw them away
 Don’t throw them away
 
 Maybe there’s an encore to make it better
 Maybe there’s a sequel to this play
 Don’t throw me away
 Don’t throw me away
 
 Waiting for the closing of the season
 trying to find some cover from the rain
 but the forecast gives no reason 
 that the clouds will ever change
 
 And now the curtain call is over
 There’s no delaying this I fear
 It just takes one to end this story
 Just takes one to disappear

 Bridge:
 I’d beg forgiveness if I knew what I had done
 But maybe I should be forgiving you

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“Season of Loss” was written in early 2016, after I read the phrase in an article discussing the death of David Bowie and other celebrities that year. I’d gone through some personal loss as well, and it was the usual grey Seattle late winter weather, so the phrase struck a chord in me. The result? This song. Despite the references to greyness and loss, it’s one of the most cheerful-sounding songs I’ve written, and probably my favorite chorus.

Season of Loss

 spring feels so far away
 right now it’s grey
 and every day I miss your smile
 
 I try to find the joy
 it’s just a ploy
 without the boy and is the wait worthwhile?

 I’m going nowhere fast
 this cannot last
 it’s just our past that blocks the way

 Somehow I still have hope
 that’s how I cope
 a clichéd trope makes sense to me today

 [chorus]
 In this season of loss
 Can I fathom the cost
 of maintaining belief in your love?

 I’m too stubborn to think
 you’d be gone in a blink
 when we had the faith that we had
 or was that love between us
 a strength we could believe or
 something meager?

 I’m told it just takes time
 this uphill climb
 to the sublime, a new lifestyle
 
 spring feels so far away
 right now it’s grey
 and every day I miss your smile

 [chorus]
 In this season of loss
 Can I fathom the cost
 of maintaining belief in your love?
 
 I’m too stubborn to think
 you’d be gone in a blink
 when we had the faith that we had
 or was that love between us
 strength we could believe or
 something meager?
 
 [bridge]
 I swore I’d believe in you
 you swore you’d never break my heart again
 
 [chorus]
 In this season of loss
 Can I fathom the cost
 of maintaining belief in your love?
 I’m too stubborn to think
 you’d be gone in a blink
 when we had such faith 
 
 In this season of loss
 Can I fathom the cost
 of maintaining belief in your love?
 I’m too stubborn to think
 you’d be gone in a blink
 when we had such faith 
 
 spring feels so far away
 right now it’s grey
 and every day I miss your smile 

 © 2016 Wendi Dunlap (BMI)

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The upcoming album, Looking for Buildings, gets its title from one of the songs on the album, “Buildings.” You can hear the 2016 version of the song at HitRecord, but the album will feature a newer version. Here are the lyrics:

Watch the lines in the middle of the highway going by 
There’s nothing else to see for many miles
As the sun sets behind us and the mountains fade to dark 
We’re waiting for our new life to appear 

‘Cause we’re looking for buildings and people and lights of the city
Then we’ll know this is where we want to be (don’t we)
Cause we’re looking for buildings and people and art and music playing 
Then we’ll know this is where we need to be (don’t we)  

The prairie flows aside so swiftly it could be the ocean gliding
As we sail along
Someday we’ll stop and park the car and realize that we made it
we made it

‘Cause we’re looking for buildings and people and lights of the city
Then we’ll know this is where we want to be (don’t we)
Cause we’re looking for buildings and people and art and music playing 
Then we’ll know this is where we need to be (don’t we)  

Taking turns behind the wheel while the other goes to sleep
With fears and dreams unsaid we’ll never tell
Toward that place that could make us or break us two apart
Believing it’ll work out in the end 

Cause we’re looking for buildings and people and restaurants and lights beside the highway
Then we’ll know this is where we want to be (aren’t we) 
Cause we’re looking for buildings and people and art and music playing Then we’ll know this is where we need to be (don’t we) 

(Music: Blake Alan Earnhart (ASCAP), Wendi Dunlap (BMI); lyrics Wendi Dunlap (BMI). ©2016 Blake Earnhart and Wendi Dunlap)

The original inspiration for the song was my drive to Minneapolis along with my friend Dave many years ago, when I was moving to Minnesota. (Fun fact: Dave sings backup on the album version of the song.) Much of the driving was done at night since it was still winter, and we were trying to get from Seattle to the Midwest as fast as possible.

The strange thing, though, is that about 8 months after writing this song, I did it all again — and this time, I moved to Atlanta. I had no idea when I wrote the song that I’d ever move again, but apparently the idea was in my subconscious. I do believe this song brought it out.

 

 

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Hi, all! It’s probably about time I set up a website for this music thing, huh? So here it is. As time goes by, you’ll find more music and info here related to my upcoming album, Looking For Buildings. Keep watching this space — big plans are afoot!